The passenger and life...

Paul at that day was sitting next to me in my room.He is my Malaysian friend and he is a person that was always by my side. We always would discuss the most intimate and profound things. In my eyes he was wise;an open minded person that read a lot of books and could discuss about everything.I like to engage into endless conversations as well so apart from being friends we would discuss philosophy,existential issues, zen and daily life. Anything really that could be hidden in the hostel of our minds.

That day I was feeling miserable and I expressed to him worries about the future and unresolved issues of my past.I was talking so fast that my breath shortened and I felt vertigo just before I break down in tears.I remember that he was the only person that when I cried let me cry.I think that because my friends are so used to seeing me smiling all the time they feel strange if I would cry and they don't let me.He did not stop me that day but he let me be. We both know that feelings unexpressed can lead people into forming obsessions.

He told me that my problem was that in my thinking I dwell a lot on the past. This is a common mistake that we make and we forget to live one day as it comes . He said to me that I should think about a train and observe the passengers. There are some people that sit on a seat that looks at the opposite direction from which they are traveling. These are the people that are thinking so much of their past that they forget the present. They do not enjoy the trip rather are constantly looking back behind their heads. Other people are seated at the same direction that they are traveling. They have turned their back on the past and have forgotten the lessons that their past taught them. They only make plans for the future and they forget to live today. They make plans that may not be accomplished and they don’t carry the wisdom of the past.

For him it is important to find a seat or have a position were you would look both ways. You would then carry the wisdom of the past as you look a bit behind but still manage to enjoy the traveling as you live the present. When you live today you can look ahead and make some short term plans and see which way you are going, which direction you are taking.You would look at the direction you are going but you would not dwell too much on it as you enjoy the travel.

If I would colour the way that I see life this would be shades of orange. Even though optimism characterizes me I have my sad moments and when I do I try to think of Paul and what he told me that night.I try to live the present and enjoy one day as it comes.And I never ever take things for granted.

(Sunshine asked me to write a story with the words:orange,vertigo,obsession,hostel and train that would require a fictitious story but instead I wrote an article and a true personal story,thank you)

(photography by gilad and phooey69)