Abandonment

“The act of abandoning, or the state of being abandoned; total desertion; relinquishment.”

I have to explore the feeling of abandonment through photography. Abandonment is a feeling that we have all felt once in our lives. Maybe we have lost someone that we care about physically or metaphorically maybe we have felt abandoned by people or maybe we have acknowledged the existence of this feeling as we observe an abandoned house or an abandoned place.

The interesting thing is that when I heard about our new exploration in photography I felt a bit numb as I could not remember my self feeling completely and absolutely abandoned. I have felt in the past alone, left, lonely, but I am not sure if I have really felt the real meaning of the word abandoned.

I am a social creature, a person that needs others and wants to be needed. I have so much need of intimate contact that I value and honor friendship. Its important for me to be able to express my self my feelings close to people I love and have meaningful conversations as well as fun. I don’t know how to hide my feelings and rarely do things that pressure me. Thinking about it loneliness must be my greatest fear as for me it is important to share and live not alone but with.

There were times in my life where I have felt lonely, in my mind comes the time when I had to stay in England alone and all my friends were gone. I have also felt lonely metaphorically, alongside with people that we had nothing in common. I have felt heart-broken and left after a break up but I never believed that I was been abandoned. Maybe I am a positive person and the adversities can only make me a stronger or a more experienced person. Maybe it scares me to believe that I was abandoned and I just describe it as being left. Maybe I am too arrogant to believe that I was ever abandoned and maybe all of the above. Before I capture this feeling in my camera I need to search it within my self. It is easy to characterize something as being abandoned but its so damn difficult finding it within yourself.

(art by krecha)

In the mind of Gondry

“When people are very original, sometimes they are original to resist the mainstream.”

Michael Gondry.

Michael Gondry is the director of the “Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind” (Η αιώνια λιακάδα ενός καθαρού μυαλού) and soon his new film “The science of sleep” will be released in the cinemas. Before that he created a great number of short films before he embarked in his first long film endeavor called “Human Behaviour.”

When I think about Gondry I think about a man that refuses to grow up in a world of pretenses and I see a man that not only hasn’t lost the child inside him but dares to expose it. As he said in an interview “childhood occupies the biggest part of your brain so a lot of my memories subconsciously and consciously enter the videos I do.”

He was born in France in 1963 and apart from a very talented film director he has directed music video clips that are innovative, imaginative, surreal and deeply thought provoking. He was always listening to music and performed as a drummer in a band. Describing the meaning of music in his life he mentioned in an interview that "we listened a lot to pop music, rhythm and blues, and my father was a big Duke Ellington fan. So I never got into music as some sort of reaction to my parents. I didn't have to use music to throw shit back at my parents. They gave me lots of freedom in thinking. I just listened to the music I had always liked.” He has collaborated with Bjork in many of her videos (Isobel, bachelorette, human behavior), Beck (cell phone’s dead), Massive Attack’s (protection), Radiohead (Knives out), White stripes, Chemical Brothers and much more. It’s worth seeing his videos as they remind me of short films where he is presenting through images imaginative stories.

His films are deconstructing reality and incorporate our memories, our dreams and the importance of storytelling is emphasized. His videos and films are thought provoking and have something to tell. He has also participated in various exhibitions where he introduced his ideas by using video installations. The world of Gondry is a world for all the adults that will always feel young and question the certainties of this life. Discover him and make your own deconstructions about this world and don’t forget to travel with your imagination as a vehicle.

Link: Gondry

(Image by Gondry in Bjorks video,photo by rachel owens)

Inside carton boxes

For the past few days I have been helping a person to move house. Those of you that have moved or helped someone move are aware that it is an exhausting experience that makes your back hurt and sends you early to bed. However, I think that more importantly, it can be a rediscovery of ones self.

The difficult part in a moving is that we have to separate all of our possessions that we have been accumulating over the years. This is the time that we relive past memories as they are projected through all the sentimental objects that we have collected over the years. We discover letters that we have kept, photos that were misplaced, presents that we did not like but still have kept and many things that we keep holding on to that sometimes are buried in our closets.

Inside carton boxes our lives are laying there and we can observe ones personality not only from the belongings that they have but more importantly from the things that they hold on to. We can stumble on people in our past that still affect us and we can not let go, we can find out about what makes sense in our lives and observe the attachments that we form with objects.

Carton box after carton box we can also detect the changes that have occurred in our lives. We may throw away objects that once were significant while keep objects that we never needed before. We can observe our habits, our sentiments, our behaviours and their course throughout the years.

Moreover, we can also recognize our own sense of materialism and observe our attachments with materials through our reactions in a moving. We can note our reaction when something that we love breaks and we can notice our reactions if we have to get rid of some things when we have to move to a smaller house.

Moving is an experience that can be very self rewarding. Apart from moving to a new place which is always exciting, there is all these realizations that you can make about your self and can help in your emotional growth and awareness. If a friend is moving you can always find something more about them and challenge your own views on materialism. For all this reasons and because change for me is something exciting I perceive moving to be a very rewarding and fun experience!

(art by magooey)

Suspicious minds...

I don’t know if you have noticed that lately when you ask someone what they do in their spare time they say I watch television. When watching television has become a hobby? It is amazing that not only we spend a lot of the time watching television but to describe it as a hobby it’s something new.

A hobby is a spare time recreational pursuit. The essence of a hobby is that some kind of activity takes place that is physical or mental. We can play a sport that involves a lot of action, we can paint and express our artistic needs or we can read a book and exercise our brain. A passive television viewing I wonder how it can constitute of a hobby.

For me the problem is not watching television is more about opening the television when we are bored. This is the time that we are fed with all kinds of trivial information that could be potentially damaging. This is when viewing becomes a state where our reality becomes determined by our TV set. This is when people stop being critical and accept the reality that the various programs of the television broadcast.

Inside the TV reality people start feeling unsafe, anxious scared, and entangled in a vicious circle of misery. They are afraid that something bad will happen to them they become suspicious and they become more and more introvert. Then their world becomes dependent from the images that are showed on the daily news that crave for blood, fear, sex and gossip. The world becomes unsafe and there is no one you can trust. So, you stay inside your house and watch some more. Besides the TV is the world and it’s always a nice topic for conversation at work. This is when TV becomes a hobby.

Our little box rarely broadcasts nice things as they don’t sell well to the audience. I am not saying that we are living in an angelic world but we tend to forget that most events that are broadcasted especially on the news are exaggerated, one-sided and many times manufactured. Watching TV is not bad as long as we watch actively and critically and don’t let them choose for us what we want to see.

(art by gnato)

A suitcase...

Our most vivid memories and recollections come from our childhood. We can remember sounds, smells and images so vividly that can affect as even today in our adult life. Many of our memories revolve around our parents; some are sweet and others are bitter.

I feel that the most difficult communication of all is the communication between a parent and a child. The parents fail to perceive children as having independent identities and even when they become adults they frequently treat them as children. Sometimes parents perceive children as their successors so they pressure children either to be like them or to do the things that they never did. Other times they have a lot of expectations from their children as they always wanted the perfect child. Other times a child is simply a parent’s property that should do what is told. Of course there are the times that parents are sweet and our memories smell of jasmine but we tend to remember the pain.

The negative feelings tend to be remembered especially when the pain comes from our parents. I feel that no matter how far away we are or how old we are our parents will affect as one way or another. Some of us carry a large heavy suitcase that is called memories. Some of the memories there are so heavy that we can barely drag our feet. Then we remain still and dwell over the past. For others the memory suitcase is lighter and they can walk easier. They stopped and they removed some of the nasty memories that laid there asleep and now they can move on.

The only time I feel defenseless is when a parent’s behaviour hurts me even though I was always independent. I think that this happens not only because our parents affect us but also because when they hurt us they re-open this suitcase with the nasty memories. I feel that the more we have coped with these nasty memories the easier it will be to communicate with ourselves and with the world.


Ένα παιδί ονειρεύεται ότι το αγκαλιάζουν
Είναι ξαπλωμένο κάτω από ένα δέντρο
και μέσα από τα φυλλώματα διακρίνει μια ηλιαχτίδα.
Είναι η μέρα που παίζει κρυφτό με το δάσος.
Ένα παιδί ονειρεύεται ότι το εμπιστεύονται.
Είναι ανεβασμένο στο δέντρο και ατενίζει τον ορίζοντα
Νυχτώνει, τα αστέρια λάμπουν
και το σεληνόφως λούζει το δάσος με φως
Ένα παιδί ονειρεύεται ότι το αγαπούν.
Κάθεται πάνω στα κίτρινα νεκρά φύλλα
που έχουν πέσει από τον άνεμο
Δεν είναι μέρα ούτε και νύχτα
Είναι στο πουθενά
Κοιτάει ψηλά το δέντρο και βλέπει την καρδιά του να κρέμεται από ένα κλαδί
Η καρδιά ταλαντεύεται και ο άνεμος με ένα φύσημα την ρίχνει κάτω, στον σωρό με τα ξερά φύλλα
Τόσο απλά σταμάτησε η καρδιά του γιατί το ευχήθηκε
Στο δάσος ένα παιδί ακόμα ονειρεύεται…

Behind avatars

The 'drifting apart' from each other is intense and felt all the way, everyday. It is evident, even by this very act of 'blogging' and communicating in depth with avatars hiding real persons we will probably never see, touch, or smile to. I have encountered more 'soulmates' in blogs and chat-rooms than in my entire life...

dawkinson

I started the blog because I love to write about the things that bother me, inspire me and make me feel in general. I always used to write since I was a little girl .I never liked diaries where people record the daily happenings as I considered them boring. I wrote small texts, songs even conversations on small pieces of paper and then I would lose them. I thought that the only reason that I started the blog is because I wanted to replace a notebook with an internet page. However, the reasons seem to be more profound and have to do with the need to communicate with people that care about what is happening around them. It has also to do with the idea of sharing; something that tends to become so alien in modern society. People often are reluctant to share their thoughts and initiate the simplest conversation.

Inside blogs a community is created with people that I feel care about what is happening around them and share their souls without barriers through their posts. Some dare to write their surname and some hide behind avatars. I hide behind an avatar or better I think I am just using a cute avatar. People who know me will realise that I am the person writing this blog as what I write is consistent with my personality. My close friends know about my blogging experience and sometimes I tell them excited about something I read or something that I wrote. At the same time I can explore my own thoughts and have a meaningful conversation with my blog friends who sometimes I feel they observe some things that my friends don’t notice.

Every day I discover something new about my blog friends through their posts and they learn something new about me. I often try to imagine them living their daily routines while they steal some time to type hastily on their keyboards their next post.
I like them and with some I am more attached, I am interested on what they have to say and at times I feel their emotional upheaval as they can feel mine. Some of their posts touch me emotionally; others inspire me and I will never meet them in my life. It’s not a surprise when people encounter soulmates behind avatars as profound communications can develop.

What I like about the blogging experience is that no introductions are needed. Someone is reading fragments of your soul. Maybe this is why people don’t use their real names because it would make them feel too vulnerable. There are times that I feel vulnerable when I write something emotional but I would never deny or lie about who I am. Mainly my avatar protects me from the intrusion as I don’t want my next door neighbours to be able to enter my thoughts with a click of the mouse.

Inside blogs there is profound communication going on and I feel that our need for something meaningful is increasing. A meaningful conversation, a meaningful communication, a meaningful existence…


(the post was inspired by dawkinson’s meaningful comment)
(art by freckledfaced)

Looks like a human...

Many people that know me are aware that I am fascinated by Japanese culture. I love the food, fashion, manga comics and their anime series. In their comics and anime a recurring theme is stories that refer to cyborgs. Cyborgs are robots that comprise both human and mechanical parts. Cyborgs because of their human parts can experience a wide range of emotions like love and sadness that are similar to human emotions. The models can be used as maids, companions, partners or they can be adopted children. There is one thing that these different models have in common; they are loyal. Of course this is fiction; a product of their imagination that is a popular theme in Japan.

Today I read in the newspaper that Android Repliee Q2 was created in Osaka University. An android is a robot that resembles a human being and behaves in a human way. They can interact with people; they can respond to human touch and look like they breathe. Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro predicts that “as lifelike androids become cheaper and more sophisticated, some of their first uses will be as companions for the elderly and as guides for people in railways stations or museums”. It is still early but as his remarks refer to a near future we could foresee that cyborgs could be existent at a distant future.

Technology is advancing rapidly and even though I am positive on the advancement of technology in general I am skeptical on the android development. I feel that the Japanese obsession with cyborgs and androids has to a great extent do with the lack of human communication that is apparent in their vast culture. In all their stories the robots are loyal, respectful and fill a void in a human soul: that of companionship. When humans are abandoned or heart broken there is a cyborg there that will never leave by their side and that it will accept them for who they are.

People sense more and more the lack of communication amongst people and they feel incomplete. However, robot companionship could never replace human companionship. Something that can look, smell or act like a human is not a human being. Something that can obey our orders and act accordingly to our needs could never make us happy and complete as it lacks something very important: A human soul and free will.

(art by bluefley)

The dreaming city...

I have to imagine of a dream city a place that would make me happy and create it in a photography dark room. This makes me feel a bit restricted because my dream city would definitely have a lot of color which is what our grey cities need.

A dream place would have parks where I could take long walks. I would go there alone and read a book or with my friends and play guitar. A dream city will have more animals that are not afraid to walk amongst people and beautiful lakes. A dream city would also care about the environment and try to develop recourses that depend on solar or wind energy. My city would not be covered by ugly block of flats and grey cement. My dream city would be able to breathe.

In a dream city my neighbors would feel less scared and they would go out more often. My dream city will have some lovely people that don’t turn their look away when you look at them; scared. They would also be more open-minded, more relaxed and they would not judge someone easily. They would not care about political parties but they would be political and environmentally aware. They would not be so scared to love and be loved and they would hug others more often. My dream city is an actual dreaming city because people have dreams that drive them to creativity and they rarely see these haunting nightmares. It is a city that is dreaming because it has a future and because people have a quality of life.

How should I create my dream city? I think I would start using my color pencils, some fairy dust and a lot of positivism. And I would need some habitants to live with me.

I will start right away…my dreaming city.

(art by bellalee)