Interpreting or misinterpreting?

There is nothing neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so

Shakespeare

People carry their own personal history, their own personal constructs, ideas and personalities. This is the reason that there are always different views and interpretations about the things that happen around us. This of course is something beautiful when you realize that human psyche is so complex and unique but it can shock you when you realize that you can be a victim of someone’s interpretation of facts.

I don’t know if you have noticed that one day you describe to your friend, to a family member or an acquaintance an incident and at the time they express that they have comprehend what you said. Days later you realize that they have made their own interpretation of what you said and they got it completely wrong. Imagine then what can happen when you explain to a group of people something and later the whole group makes their own interpretation of facts.

You can tell me that this may happen because you did not explain something well and in a consistent manner. However, I have come to realize that the way we view things is very subjective and that our personal distortions interfere with our judgment. For example you may have said to someone that you don’t want them to see them right now because you are tired and let’s assume that you mean it. A person may think that you don’t want to see them and feel bad because they think that you try to avoid them, another person might think that you are actually tired, another person may think that you don’t know how to say no so you find an excuse etc. But remember you were actually tired but a circle of misunderstandings can occur.

This is when our own personality constructs interfere with reality and blur our judgment. The way that we think is that makes all the difference and not the way that we feel. For example when we believe that we are boring or uninteresting then when someone is saying no to us we blame ourselves. We forget that this person that says no might actually be tired and their denial has nothing to do with us. Of course there is the chance that we are boring to some but for others we will be interesting and we make overgeneralizations that harm us.

A way to be come more objective I think is actively listening what the other person says and ask if unsure. Similarly, in order to become more objective is to minimize the hypothesis that we do and try to view what someone says through their eyes not through ours. Because we would feel and think in a certain way does not mean that the other person will.

We are so complex and unique as personalities and I think that this is our beauty. It helps when we try to perceive someone’s experience from their point of view and forget ours.
Let me show you the world through my eyes...


(art by thundercake)