We live our lives in the company of others that most of the times love us conditionally, help us conditionally, hang out with us conditionally. This is not necessarily bad because people need each other but it does depend on the conditions and compromises that each of us accept when forming relationships. There is no right measure I think but this really depends on each individual and each relationship. However, sometimes in our lives we learn that there is a love that can be unconditional. Someone might approach us and love us posing no terms. This love can be friendship, romance or a platonic kind of love. But it happens to be unconditional and we can either embrace it, or we can deny it and hurt the one that loves us most. Of course there is always the chance that we don't even notice something nice happening to us...
There is a song stuck in my head that was originally by Kate Bush but I prefer the Placebo version. It’s just being played over and over inside my head the past week. People can interpret the lyrics as they want and this is the beauty of art and music. For me its a bitter sweet song about overcoming life's difficulties, about switching places with a person that you care while you approach him or her unconditionally. Mostly its about all unconditional and real relationships in life....
It doesn't hurt me.
You wanna feel how it feels?
You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
You wanna hear about the deal I'm making?
You be running up that hill
You and me be running up that hill
And if I only could,
Make a deal with God,
And get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
Be running up that building.
If I only could, oh...
You don't want to hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder.
There is thunder in our hearts, baby.
So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
(Art by pesare.)
You can listen the song in my playlist
13 comments:
άραγε όταν δεν συνειδητοποιούμε εγκαίρως ότι μας συμβαίνει κάτι τέτοιο (όπως λες) τι είμαστε;
Εγωιστές, πεσιμιστές, αχάριστοι-άπληστοι;
@narita
Νομίζω οτι είμαστε απλά άνθρωποι.
Για μένα το πιο όμορφο είναι οχι τόσο να το συναντήσουμε σε άλλους αλλά να νιώσουμε εμείς αυτο το συναίσθημα (unconditional love).Και για την θυσία που αναφέρεται το τραγούδι πόσο σπάνιο συναίσθημα....
Though Placebo are not my usual cup of tea, I find 'The Bitter End' and 'A Song To Say Goodbye' two fantasic and very touching songs.
I also think that you (as in general, you) can really count yourself lucky if you ancounter someone in your life who will offer themselves unconditionally. Trully lucky.
Τι υπέροχες λέξεις! Και τι υπέροχη εικόνα...
@apotheosis
Of course its lucky but I do think that we influence at a great extent our luck.I think that I am very fortunate.
@sunshine
χαιρομαι που σου αρέσουν οι στίχοι.Αν το ακούσεις το τραγουδι είμαι σίγουρη οτι θα σου προκαλέσει κάποιο συναίσθημα
@pixie
Δεν ξέρω, μου φαίνεται πολύ σπάνιο να υπάρξει αυτό που λέμε "ανευ όρων αγάπη", γιατι πολύ απλά απο αυτούς τους "όρους" τρέφεται. Είναι η ανάγκη της κτήσεως επι του άλλου, που οδηγεί σε αυτές τις μικρές και μεγάλες παραχωρήσεις, ανταλλάζοντας εν τέλει κομμάτια του εαυτού μας...
@storm
μιλάς πολύ γλυκά.Φυσικά και το με όρους μπορει να είναι απαραίτητο σε σχέσεις.Αν δεν βάλουμε όρους τότε π.χ θα μας πατήσουν κτλ αλλά εγώ εννοω μια άλλη διάσταση του unconditional που δεν μεταφράζεται έτσι στα ελληνικά.Εννοω το να αγαπάμε κάποιον και να προσπαθούμε να δούμε με τα μάτια τους τον κόσμο και να μην μετράμε ποσοτικά την αγάπη και να μπορούμε να ξεβολευτούμε και λιγο.Πάντως δεν μιλάω τόσο για τον έρωτα αλλά για όλους όσους είναι δίπλα μας και είμαστε σίγουροι οτι και να κάνουμε 2 χρόνια να τους δούμε θα είναι πάλι εκει unconditionally.Δηλαδή εννοειτε οτι θα κανεις παραχωρήσεις αλλά αν αρχίσεις να τις μετράς τοτε υπάρχει πρόβλημα...
Δεν μου είπες αν σου αρέσει η διασκευή.
Πιο συγκεκριμένα ο Maslow μιας και πρόκειτε για θεωρία του έλεγε οτι
" people need to be loved and accepted unconditionally -- without any conditions of performance."
@pixie
την ήξερα, πολύ ωραία ;)
There's a place in my head where I keep things I can't conclude upon. This is one of them. On the one hand, people need to earn love, need to be worthy of it. For instance, you ever seen a woman that's just been beaten by her husband and when the cops come she defends him? "He didn't mean no harm, he's a good man". No, he's not. He's a fucking jerk and you're a fucking idiot for defending him. Is this unconditional love? Thanks, I'll pass on this one.
On the other hand, once in a while people establish such strong connections that transcend the realms of ethics and judgement and performance. I've noticed however, and this could just be me, that our love for someone turns unconditional after we come apart with him/her. Ever noticed that? If you're in a relationship, trying to work it through, you get some sort of tension about whether you're providing for your partner/friend/whatever and whether he/she's responding to your needs etc. And after coming apart, this tension fades and all that remains is love.
My problem is, when does unconditional love stop being this gentle feeling of salvation and becomes basic masochism. And, furthermore, when does masochism turn really, really bad? Thin line there, don't you guys think?
Also, I kinda think unconditional love tends to benefit the donor more than the recipient and this somehow spoils it for me. I mean, when I think about it, people are desperate to be loved for who they are, what they say and do. To be unconditionally loved takes some of the fun away because the other party will love you no matter who you become and therefore what you do with yourself becomes insignificant. So gaining the love of someone takes away all the challenge and all the satisfaction of it. Am I making any sense here? Simply put, if I wanted unconditional love, I'd adopt a puppy.
On the other hand, people want to rise above simple feelings like passion and crushes and desire and satisfaction and be able to somehow evolve by experiencing feelings that are beyond giving and receiving. Which, to me, is both a noble and a stupid aspiration. There are no humble or noble feelings. It's what people make of their feelings that makes them humble or noble. I think that to be able to love someone unconditionally is more an act of personal accomplishment than it is an act of sacrifice.
Anyway, at the very least, I have mixed feelings on the subject.
And, while we're at it, I'm more a fan of the soulmate theory and therefore when it comes to Placebo I'll take Sleeping With Ghosts any given day.
Αν κάποιος/ια δεν ζητάει πολλά από εσένα και εσύ επίσης δεν ζητάς πολλά από τους άλλους, τότε ναι, ίσως γίνεται. Δεν ξέρω όμως τι γίνεται αν έχεις την άπειρη κατανόηση αλλά κάποια πράγματα σου είναι αφόρρητα όπως και να το κάνουμε. Επίσης δεν θα ήθελα να ζήσω μια σχέση όπου θα σκέφτομαι την κτήση ή μήπως δεν είμαι αρκετά κτητικός και αν η άλλη έχει το πάνω χέρι ή όχι. Δεν θα ήθελα να το σκέφτομαι έτσι. Θα ήθελα κάτι με κατανόηση και από τις δυο πλευρές.
Δεν τό 'χω δει αυτό το πράγμα ποτέ. Και για τις μανάδες που το λένε... άσε, μην πω τώρα καμιά κουβέντα... Ωραία μουσική διαλέγεις.
@all
Παιδια αυτές τις ημέρες τρέχω τόσο πολύ με την δουλειά που δεν πρόλαβα να απαντησω νωρίτερα!
@khayman
I have mixed feelings too.But for me unconditionally is when I love without wanting to change someone in my own standards.I think its worth the try!
@optimus
Επιασες το νόημα του άρθρου.Κατανόηση!
@syna
Ασε όσο για τους γονείς έχεις απόλυτο δίκιο.Χαιρομαι που άκουσες το playlist!
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