There is one person in my life that I considered a best friend and now we are estranged. The world is so small that it’s true that you can meet anyone by chance. I was at the beach with my boyfriend and I saw him. The first feeling I had was anger and then evolved into sympathy. Within a year he got married and had a child. What hurts me is that we used to be like brother and sister for so many years and now we are complete strangers as if there was never a friendship. I haven’t seen his child, I was not invited at the wedding, I never met his girlfriend and this hurts me the most.We met when I was 16 at a concert. He liked me at first but I made it clear from the start that I was not interested but he persisted to meet me because he said that he never met someone that he could connect so well and we became friends. We were going out with our common friends and talked about everything. We had relationships and life went on. We shared holidays, birthdays, daily life, important and unimportant moments. We both studied in England but in different universities and I use to visit him and his girlfriend very often. He met all my boyfriends and traveled for my graduation. We both graduated and we came back in Greece.
Then something happened…When he introduced me to an old friend and now my current boyfriend he realized that we might form a relationship. But I was shocked to find out that he was not happy at all. The lies that he told, the cruel words that he said were unbelievable! The possessiveness that he expressed was unimaginable it was as if he was someone else. As a result everything changed in a week. The glass broke and there was no glue to be found.
We did not speak then for two years and then he called me to say that he is sorry but it was so difficult to forget what happened. I tried but some things just can’t heal no matter how hard you want them to. There is a limit and that limit was crossed. We went out but it was obvious that we talked like complete strangers.Then silence...Then following another year he called me and told me that he is going to be a father because his girlfriend is pregnant. He got married and I was not invited at the wedding. His wife does not know I ever existed and I am left with a rollercoaster of emotions inside me.
So we are back at the beach. I am praying that he doesn’t see me or that he doesn’t speak to me but there he is approaching me .I did not want to speak to him because I hate making small talk conversation with someone that knew every little thing about me. How can I talk with someone that I loved so much about the weather?
When we started talking I realized that I still care about him. The anger that I first felt when I saw him turned to sympathy. I am sad because he abandoned me at a time that was difficult for me, said things I know he did not mean but was cruel, tried to destroy my relationship and then I told him that we need to part our own ways… I felt emptiness without him. After all, its not easy to have a best friend nowadays and I know he is a nice person. The people that know us told me that he was still in love with me after so many years. But I believe that he just felt threatened that something might change between us.
Close friends come apart and relationships collapse and leave you empty and heartbroken. But you still forgive and remember and find difficult to erase something that was meaningful. But the worst of all is to be forced to make small talk conversation and pretend that nothing ever happened with someone that you loved. I am sorry I just can’t talk with you about the weather!
(art by libelle)
